You Can't Make Me Like It! Post #3 - Holiday Edition!

I haven't written a "You can't make me like it" post in quite a while - if you aren't familiar with this, it is all the things I think of on an every day basis that I cannot STAND but that everybody else in the world seems to *LOVE*.  I've come up with a holiday/winter-ish edition to this collection of tasty tidbits.  You're welcome!:)

1.  Black Friday.  After eating a crapload plate full of tryptophan with all the trimmings nothing sounds more hellish to me (okay, almost nothing) than heading out to go "BARGAIN SHOPPING" at Walmart at midnight with all the other Black Friday freaks.  Nooooo thank you.  I enjoy my sleep too much and shopping at Walmart is *NEVER* appealing, let alone in the middle of the freakin' night!  I much prefer Cyber Monday where I can shop at my own pace, in my pjs, without sweating.

2.  Fuzzy animal head hats with ears.  Do you know the ones I'm talking about?  All of the sudden I am seeing *LOTS* of people wearing these.  In PUBLIC!  Now, I can see a three-year-old kid wearing one of these dorky hats, but an adult man in a panda hat?  Really, people??

3.  "Santa Baby."  As in, the song.  I've heard several versions and they all irritate the DAYLIGHTS outta me. I'm not sure which is worse, the older versions or the MEGA-ANNOYING Madonna version. In fact, I think if I hear it one more time this Christmas season (and the season has just begun!) I might break out in hives.

4. Pumpkin pie.  I know, I know...what am I, like, un-American?!  I have seriously tried to like it and I just don't. For Thanksgiving this year I made an interesting variation that was a CHOCOLATE pumpkin pie.  Sounds gross, but it actually didn't really taste like pumpkin...more like chocolate pie with cinnamon...made the pie somewhat bearable. And while we're on the subject of pie, just what jackwagon came up with the idea of mincemeat?!?!

5. Snow. I know I've mentioned this one before, I don't like to be cold. I think maybe snow would be more enjoyable in a city that actually knows how to handle it and where the world doesn't shut down for three snowflakes. I can handle snow for like, a day, cuz that's when it's pretty. Then, I need to get out of my house and go tanning or something. (Just kidding, I don't really go tanning anymore- I heard you all judging me!!!)

6. Walnuts. Not sure why I think of walnuts when making my holiday list of stuff I don't like, but for some reason they came to mind.  Some people like to put walnuts in baked goods at Christmastime.  That's a good way to screw up a perfectly good cookie, folks.

7. Always saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."  I'm *really* tired of being politically correct.  I know not everyone celebrates Christmas, but I do, so if I see you, I'm going to say "Merry Christmas."  Don't blow a gasket or anything. Have some egg nog.

You can't make me like it - Entry #2

Since my last entry of this same title, I have actually thought of about 47 things I don't like that everyone else on the planet seems to love. Every time I think of one, I think I should write it down so I remember...but I never do, so I forget most of them. Here are the ones that I remember for now...

1. Yoga - I've tried it. Hate it. Too boring. I need action! Excitement! Kick-ass tunes! In case you hadn't heard, yoga has none of these.

2. Meat with any kind of fruit sauce - I'm not even a big meat-eater, but in the past few years have started eating some poultry and fish again after a long hiatus from eating anything with a face. Sorry - but any kind of fruit "glaze" on meat...whether it is raspberry-glazed salmon or apricot-glazed chicken...is just nasty. Meat alone or with a savory sauce = good. Meat with fruity, froo-froo, sweet, girly-sauce = gross, according to the tenspot.

3. Exercising - yes, I go to the gym regularly, but it is out of necessity because I swear I was not born with any sort of metabolism. I don't think I will ever do it because I LOVE it. I've tried, but let's face it, it sucks.

4. Mechanical pencils - You can never get anything done because the lead continually breaks off. You spend the entire time clicking out new lead! I need power and strength behind my writing, not fragile little pieces of annoyance.

5. Recycling, saving the planet, and living all "green" - Hey, don't get me wrong, I love our planet and know our earth is amazing, but the word "sustainability" drives me batty because it is so overused...and I kind of miss the days when we didn't have to wash our garbage. (I fully know I'm going to get hammered for this one - take it easy, people...this is all in fun:)

6. Electronic calendars - I'll admit, I am old-school when it comes to my scheduling habits. I still have one of those old flip-a-week calendars on my desk that I can actually WRITE on. I know, I know, we are in the age of technology and I do get appointment requests via Outlook, but due to my own unwillingness to change I still have to write it down.

7. Running/Jogging - again, I have tried to like it. Have you noticed that runners all look like they are in PAIN?

8. Bumper stickers - Living in the Northwest, you would think there is some sort of law that each person have as many bumper stickers as possible on the back of their car to express their "views." The good thing is, they help me identify idiots on the road.

9. Calling my husband my "hubby" or calling kindergarten "kindy" - these are two really annoying, supposed-to-be-cute words you will never hear me say or write. Oh wait, I just wrote them. CURSES!

10. Gardening - I don't do outside chores and I can't keep plants alive. I have what I like to call a "black thumb." In fact, when I left for college my parents gave me a fake cactus for my dorm room. Yes, a FAKE cactus. They didn't even think I could keep a cactus alive! (Which for the record, I can't...and I couldn't keep my pet turtle alive either.)

You can't make me like it - Entry #1

Maybe hate is a strong word, but I have often thought about writing a book on this subject of the "stuff I hate that everyone else in the world seems to love." There are soooo many things in this world that people seem to LOVE with a passion that I just don't get. In fact, I have a strong DISLIKE for a lot of these things. This will be the first entry of many, I'm sure, because I seriously think of several items a day. Maybe I am odd, yes, but here are the ones I have thought of most recently:

1. Watching the Olympics. I know this sounds very unpatriotic, and I'm honestly not...I just don't enjoy watching Olympic sports on TV. Especially WINTER Olympics. Ice skating, skiing, snowboarding... I just don't get it. Which brings me to the next item on my list...

2. Participating in outdoor sports that require cold weather and/or snow. I would rather put a fork in my eye (actually I'd rather be laying on a sandy beach sipping a pina colada), than even try any of the above activities. Sounds HORRIBLE to me. Horrible. You might call me lazy. I call myself recreationally selective.

3. Drinking cocktails while watching a movie. There are all sorts of venues around town that offer the "luxury" of being able to have a beer in a movie theater. I don't get it and I don't like it. If I'm going to have cocktails, I want to be able to chat with friends...if I'm watching a movie, helloooo...there can be no chatting! What genius thought of this concept?

4. The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Bare Naked Ladies, and Beyonce. I don't like this music. I don't even want to talk about it actually...just the thought of some of these songs makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

5. Heelies. Every time a kid goes flying by me in the grocery store or runs into me in the mall on those stupid little shoes with wheels, I have a secret daydream of seeing them wipe out.

6. Camping. I'm okay for like, a night...but then I need a bed and a shower. I don't like the dirt, or the lack of bathrooms, or the lack of good sleep that comes with being outside in the cold at night. "Roughing it" to me is a two-star hotel.

7. Chicken Wings. Um, two words: fat and tendons. That's all they are. Not to mention I don't eat anything off a bone. How about a nice basket of spicy fat, skin and tendons to dip in your blue cheese dressing? Disgusting!

8. Hiking. I am always convinced there is a cougar getting ready to pounce around the next corner. That, and there are always bees.