You Can't Make Me Like It! Post #3 - Holiday Edition!

I haven't written a "You can't make me like it" post in quite a while - if you aren't familiar with this, it is all the things I think of on an every day basis that I cannot STAND but that everybody else in the world seems to *LOVE*.  I've come up with a holiday/winter-ish edition to this collection of tasty tidbits.  You're welcome!:)

1.  Black Friday.  After eating a crapload plate full of tryptophan with all the trimmings nothing sounds more hellish to me (okay, almost nothing) than heading out to go "BARGAIN SHOPPING" at Walmart at midnight with all the other Black Friday freaks.  Nooooo thank you.  I enjoy my sleep too much and shopping at Walmart is *NEVER* appealing, let alone in the middle of the freakin' night!  I much prefer Cyber Monday where I can shop at my own pace, in my pjs, without sweating.

2.  Fuzzy animal head hats with ears.  Do you know the ones I'm talking about?  All of the sudden I am seeing *LOTS* of people wearing these.  In PUBLIC!  Now, I can see a three-year-old kid wearing one of these dorky hats, but an adult man in a panda hat?  Really, people??

3.  "Santa Baby."  As in, the song.  I've heard several versions and they all irritate the DAYLIGHTS outta me. I'm not sure which is worse, the older versions or the MEGA-ANNOYING Madonna version. In fact, I think if I hear it one more time this Christmas season (and the season has just begun!) I might break out in hives.

4. Pumpkin pie.  I know, I know...what am I, like, un-American?!  I have seriously tried to like it and I just don't. For Thanksgiving this year I made an interesting variation that was a CHOCOLATE pumpkin pie.  Sounds gross, but it actually didn't really taste like pumpkin...more like chocolate pie with cinnamon...made the pie somewhat bearable. And while we're on the subject of pie, just what jackwagon came up with the idea of mincemeat?!?!

5. Snow. I know I've mentioned this one before, I don't like to be cold. I think maybe snow would be more enjoyable in a city that actually knows how to handle it and where the world doesn't shut down for three snowflakes. I can handle snow for like, a day, cuz that's when it's pretty. Then, I need to get out of my house and go tanning or something. (Just kidding, I don't really go tanning anymore- I heard you all judging me!!!)

6. Walnuts. Not sure why I think of walnuts when making my holiday list of stuff I don't like, but for some reason they came to mind.  Some people like to put walnuts in baked goods at Christmastime.  That's a good way to screw up a perfectly good cookie, folks.

7. Always saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."  I'm *really* tired of being politically correct.  I know not everyone celebrates Christmas, but I do, so if I see you, I'm going to say "Merry Christmas."  Don't blow a gasket or anything. Have some egg nog.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart...JACKA$$!

Today I was driving down the freeway, on my way to an appointment - flipping through radio stations trying to find something good.  Let me just tell you, there are THREE, count 'em THREE radio stations that are already playing nothing but Christmas music 24/7.  It is November 16th, folks.  I just threw out my rotting Halloween jack-o-lanterns.  Son of a nutcracker!

Anyhoo - I landed on one such station and as much as I wanted to turn the channel, I couldn't.  Why you ask?  Because they were playing "Last Christmas" by WHAM. (If you have speakers, now is your cue to turn them UP because at the time of this post it's on the top of my playlist;)  Should I be embarrassed that I still love that song?  It is the quintessential Christmas song of the early 80's, and I love it. When I hear it, I can't help but be FLOODED with memories of silly 7th and 8th grade dances in the dark gymnasium-transformed-into-love-palace that was our Jr. High gym. Paper decorations on the walls, tinsel hanging from the florescent light fixtures, strobe lights and mistletoe...mistletoe?  WHO BROUGHT the mistletoe?  (OMG, so-and-so brought mistletoe!  You know what that means!  He's gonna try to KISS HER!)  Sorry, I got caught up in the moment there.

So this song has me back there in that gym. Shy kids up against the wall, acting like they really didn't want to dance anyway.  Not-so-shy kids slow dancing, girls' arms around the guy's neck, boy's hands on the girl's waist  - side to side, side to side, side to side... (let's face it, it was 80's dancing, and we weren't that good). We thought we were so old.  SO grown up. There were girls crying in the bathroom because their boyfriend broke up with them RIGHT before the dance (a-holes), or because the guy they were in *LOVE* with was dancing with another girl to THEIR SONG (hussy), or because their VERY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD (who was friends with them that morning while eating Smurfberry Crunch for breakfast!) decided she hated her now because she wore generic Keds and shopped at Sears.  Ah - Jr. High.  Don't those memories just make you smile?  No?  Well, I still like the song anyway.

Now, I have no idea if middle schools still have dances like this but as a parent of an almost-middle-school son and daughter, I certainly hope they do not.  Because I know what I was doing what some kids were doing at those dances...and let's just say we didn't have the *best* supervision.  I have a feeling what goes around comes around and I'm sure my parents will be smiling and nodding their heads in understanding when I *get* to experience my own children in middle school.  Not ready for that next year.  Nope, NOT ready!

For the Girls

My girlfriends. Most of us have been friends since childhood - or at least since we were teenagers. Some of them became my friends a little later.  We have been through *A LOT*. We've argued over stupid boys drama and we've cried together through breakups, divorces, weddings and the births of our babies.  We've held each other after miscarriages and loss of parents. We've laughed our asses off at the comedy that is life, bitched about dieting, jobs and people who've screwed us over. We've partied like rock stars braided each other's hair, reminisced about old times and sometimes gone weeks or months without talking only to pick up like no time has gone by. 

I know if I need them, any single ONE of them (or all of them at the same time for that matter) they will be there, in all their gorgeously honest glory, whether I like it or not. They are TOUGH and their strength inspires me. Their words of encouragement pick me up off the ground at times, even if I don't want to hear it. That's what I love about these girls. Their laughs make it all okay and we carry each other.

Thankful

Sometimes I think I *THINK* too much about what I should write instead of just writing. Things happen all day long, and I think, "is that blog -worthy? or is that just worthy of a quick Facebook status update?" Silly, really...because it really is all blog worthy. I created this darned thing so I could make note of life and not forget funny happenings - one day maybe I'll finally get a book published, but for now, this is my outlet.

November, as well all know, is a month for giving thanks. We thank our veterans, we thank our families, we thank GOD for giving us the things we have and for taking care of us. It's easy to lose sight of the things we have to be thankful for - especially in our crazy busy lives when we all want things NOW, and FAST, and EASY. It's just not the way it goes, folks - but we are selfish little things and when things don't go our way it is easy to lose that focus of thankfulness. The last few months, for me, have been nothing short of brutal when it comes to this...I keep praying for the things that I think I *NEED* to happen and this little voice keeps telling me "you don't know WHAT you need."  

So I'm taking a step back today, taking a deep breath, and thinking about what I am REALLY thankful for. And it's things like this - the funny, sweet, laughable, heart-melting moments of this week that make me wake up and smell the thankfulness.

*While my husband was packing for a trip oversees last weekend, my littlest guy, Mr. Fredricksen, laughed for 20 minutes straight about Daddy packing "Toilet Treats" (toiletries) in his suitcase. He makes me laugh HARD every day. Thankful - because this kind of laughter is sooooo good for the soul.

*My daughter insisting that our dog wanted sloppy joes for his birthday dinner - and as it turns out she was right. Note to readers: Dogs *LOVE* sloppy joes! Thankful for the thoughtfulness of my girl, giggles and dog parties.

*My big, tough, almost-11-year old son calling me from home when he was so sick - needing me to come home. *NEEDING* his mom for the first time in a really long time. I guess we never grow out of needing our moms every once in a while. Thankful to be needed.

*A text message from my Mom and Dad - on a day when they knew I needed it the most - that simply said "We love you." I love you both too - more than I tell you, more than I could ever show you. Thank you for *ALWAYS* having my back. Even when I was hard to love.

*A Facebook status update from Japan - my husband saying "Hang in there, Honey! Missing my family!" They say the people you love the most are the ones you take for granted. When you have a change to your routine, a little separation for a bit, I think that can be good. You begin to remember what it is that you fell in love with about a person - you start to recall the things you really appreciate about your partner. Thankful for my best friend - looking forward to having him home.

*And lastly, this morning, I woke up to a little smiling cherub face close to mine saying "Good Morning!" I had been dreaming about these things, these moments of thankfulness this week so it was fresh in my mind and I put my arms around my littlest pal and told him I was ever so thankful for him. He just smiled and hugged me tighter. "I'm thankful for you too, Mama."

**heart. melting.**

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Now I get it. I get what I really need.