(Original Post dated December 2010)
Oh boy…haven’t had a post about the gym in a while, I guess you could say I was due for a story. I recently started training for a triathlon – it still makes me giggle to say that out loud because it sounds like a joke or something…HAHA! Anyway, I’ve been super diligent about getting up at 3:40am and getting to the gym by 4am to either swim, bike or run – I have to work out at this time because I have to be home by 5:15am before the hubs leaves for work. (See earlier post titled “Crazy Woman on the Loose!” for more on this topic)
The good part about getting to the gym at o-dark-thirty is there is hardly anyone there. The bad part is, the people who ARE there, are generally people who you don’t want to necessarily see in a bathing suit. To be more specific, I normally spend my swim mornings dodging old dudes in Speedos. This morning was no exception. My freestyle practice this morning was accompanied, by three, count ‘em THREE, old dudes in Speedos. I usually am the first one in the pool, so fortunately I am almost finished with my workout when they begin emerging from the men’s locker room. A few minutes after they join me, I excuse myself to the adjacent hot tub to take a breather before heading home.
Sitting there, with my eyes closed and my head lying back, I get that feeling – you know the one - that someone is looking at me. I open my eyes just in time to see a new fellow has joined us poolside. At least this one is wearing giant flowered swim trunks to cover his “business.” When I first see him, I think he is going into the pool with the other men, but to my horror he does a switchback, walks over to the hot tub and slides in next to me. Okay, this isn’t too awkward, I try to tell myself. It’s 4:30 am, this is a gym, I’m not the only one that wants to sit in the hot tub, it’s okay, I can handle it…
I close my eyes and lay my head back again…but only for a moment because I can’t stop peeking over at my flowered friend. He keeps laying back and letting his whole body “bob up” in the water – it’s very annoying. Then, I see them. Each time he bobs up, his fat little feet break the surface of the water just inches from me and I see them. The longest, yellowest, nastiest toenails I have ever seen. Gag reflex in full swing, I pretend to notice the time on the clock and jump out to grab my towel. Extra-long shower for me today and I took notice that the pool/spa is cleaned on Tuesdays and Fridays so that gives me hope for a toenail-free experience later this week.
Dear Santa, please bring toenail guy some clippers. On second thought, please bring him a hacksaw. And cancel his gym membership. Love, Kristin
