Put some clothes on!

I like to go to the gym in the mornings even though it doesn't happen very often (read my last post about my "normal" mornings)...but when I can, I prefer mornings because working out after work is just - well, exhausting. If I can get it done early I always feel better during the day and LOVE knowing that my workout is already done so when I am off work I can just go home and enjoy my little family or whatever fun activity I have planned.

That being said, there is something I really do NOT like about going to the gym in the mornings and getting ready for work with a group of women I do not know. Is it just me, or does anyone else find it absolutely freaking CRAZY when a perfect stranger arrives into your locker room mirror...standing right next to you in all of her naked glory?? And by "glory", I mean National Geographic boobs and un-landscaped nether-regions?

Today, for instance. I had just finished a great spinning workout - there is just something awesome about rocking out and getting all sweaty to some Lady Gaga at 5:30am people! Went to the locker room, took my shower, put my clothes on and ventured over to the lighted mirrors where everyone stands to dry and style their hair and put on makeup. "Oh good, there are enough mirrors that I can have my own today!" I think to myself. Begin drying hair...then move to makeup. So nice...quiet place to get ready. No kids yelling...get to move at my own pace...no rushing...relaxation is setting in...what a great morning...

(cue "Jaws" music, or the "RIE, RIE, RIE" slasher sound, or something else equally as horrifying)

For-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy. Here she comes...the woman who will haunt my thoughts for the rest of my day by sharing my mirror with me. Oh, she doesn't ASK to share my mirror. She just walks right up... in her (not at ALL attractive) nakedness, stands WAY to close to me, and begins putting lotion on her face and combing her hair. Um, HELLO??? Do you see me here? Did you forget a step? The part where you cover yourself? Perhaps you could put a bra on those bad-boys?

I try as I may, as hard as I can, not to look at her...but she is in MY mirror! And there was a mirror free down the way...but no, she is drawn to MY mirror for some reason. I try to keep my eyes averted but have a difficult time doing so. I mean, I'm short! and her "girls" are all up in my kitchen! And I don't even DARE look DOWN...are you kidding me? I don't want to know what kind of creature may be close to touching my jeans. Holy crap, I looked down. Ah! It's a bear! Am I being weird? I'm a girl - it shouldn't bother me that bad to see another woman naked - but hers is not a pretty sight...and she is SO CLOSE and all I can think about is not looking, so that just makes me look more.

I can't get my makeup on fast enough and while shoving all of my belongings into my gym bag, I clumsily try to unplug my hairdryer...reaching in front, as far in front as I can, of her...without touching those...er...things. I escape to the safety of the gym lobby and out to my car.

Scarred for life, barely alive, but still humming Lady Gaga.